Tomorrow I'm going to meet with my new oncologist. My dad picked the facility because it's close and convenient to his house, well regarded, and because they have a sarcoma expert on staff. Sarcomas are somewhat rare, accounting for only about 1% of cancer diagnoses; sarcoma specialists are correspondingly rare.
I'm really uncomfortably nervous about it. When I was in Korea, there were so many other things to concentrate on (How am I going to be able to get to the facility? Is anyone there going to speak English? Will I be finished before the subway gets jammed?), I didn't really have much energy to spare getting nervous about the appointment itself.
There's also that I've been anticipating this appointment for weeks now, almost an eternity considering that hours have seemed like days since I was diagnosed. This isn't another informational meeting, and it's not another diagnostic test; tomorrow we're going to decide exactly how much poison I can tolerate, how much of my bone the surgeon is going to rip out of me. What we discuss tomorrow may decide whether I live or die.
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